Clumsy Bastard Causes Travel Havock

Hundreds of school children are today left stuck outside the gates of their school after a careless peice of driving has meant bus routes and train lines have been terminated early after a lorry crashed into a train bridge in the Eden Park area today around 2pm, reports Louis Mendez.

No injuries have been reported from the scene, although eye witness reports that one middle aged women was lucky to escape with the rest of her life. "I watched as her legs turned to jelly," says one shocked one looker, known only by the name Tom Gale. "She was half trying to run away, half scared stiff as the lorry started tipping over towards her."

The lorry is currently tipping on it's side, resting on some poor bugger's car. The lorry was owned by the Tyneside based Simpsons Brother's company. The driver was quoted as saying "I was just trying to gaan' roond the corner when this bridge joomped oot of nowhere, and me lorry went oop' on it's side wheels, but I'm fine now, noones hurt so its champion."

As a result, all trains between Hayes and London have now been disrupted meaning travel chaos for the children trying to leave for home now and the yuppie types who will be travelling home from London tonight. The 358 bus service is also severly distrupted.